A very long month

We got these taken for free at kiddie kandids. He is excatly 1 month old!!
So Landon is a month old and let me tell you it has been a very long crazy month. I was hoping that Landon would be an easier baby than Carlie was but I have no such luck. If anything it's been more difficult. He has all the same eating problems that Carlie had... collic, acid reflux, and the most horrible gas. He's taking 3 differnt medications and I had to stop nursing and give him soy formula. It's like deja vu, really. Here's why it worse this time. After Landon got out of the hospital for dehydration we took him in to the doctor for a checkup and just our luck Carlie caught hand, foot, and mouth disease from the toys at the dr.'s office. It's been so aweful. Luckily she only got the sores in her mouth and not her hands and feet. She had a fever for days and she couldn't eat and she didn't want to drink anything. She'd wake up with her mouth just covered in blood. It was so sad. I am amazed the baby didn't get it. He's been cranky enough without adding to his misery. We've been back and forth to the doctor like 5 times. And our pediatrician is an hour away. I could try to find a new one close by but I really like the one we have. He's awewsome. He's actually married to James E. Faust's daughter. Anyway, along with all the dr's visits and sickness the house is just falling apart. The garbage disposal stopped working and the landlord still hasn't fixed it. I can't seem to keep the darn place clean either. The laundry seems to double every day. I'm feel like I'm constantly washing bottles. Carlie is messier than ever (I think she's trying to get my attention). Now here's the clincher... the news that's like the the stinky diaper on my garbage heap... on top of all our problems that were trying to deal with right now I get the news that my wonderfully adorable grandma has passed away. I am happy for her because I know that she is happier now. My grandpa passed away almost 20 years ago so she's been somewhat alone for quite a long time and over the past couple years she pretty much lost her short term memory. She was still grandma and she still had such a fun personality. I have so many great childhood memories of her and living at her house. She is by far the best grandma I could ask for. So it's a bitter sweet thing. I am happy for her and sad for me and my family.
I was just telling Chance the other day that I feel like our marriage is being beat to death. Although we love each other and our kids it's getting so hard to deal with all problems. Over the last 3 months we have incurred about $20,000 or more in hospital and doctor bills and our insurance is being difficult, trying to get out of paying their part. I almost have to laugh because it just doesn't seem like it can be possible for two people to endure as much as Chance and I have in the last 4 years. Our 4 year anniversary is in October and as much as I wish I could say it's been wonderul I just can't. We have been through so much, we even had a bishop tell us once that he was amazed that we were still together after all that we'd been through. And that was 2 years ago. We've been through a miscarriage, two hard pregnancies, two scary births, so much sickness it's insane, losing my "mother" (she's not dead but it really wouldn't make a difference),career problems up the wazoo, and the one trial that seems to be never ending... POVERTY!! The man who performed our sealing warned us about all these things. It's scary how accurate he was. Of couse we thought it'd be spread out across 60-70 years.
I just have to hope that it will be over soon. I mean the pounding down pour of trials not our marriage.
Well that's enough of that. Chance is always telling me to be more positive. So here's what I have to be happy about:
1.Landon and Carlie are 2 of the cutest kids I've ever seen and they are relatively healthy
2. We have a place to live (even if it is old and dirty)
3. We get free food from sonic (the downside is that I'm trying to lose weight)
4. Chance has a job and bosses that treat him right
5. The cougars are having a great season so far (that's for chance)
6. I get to see my family (even if it is under sad circumstances)
7. I weigh 15 lbs. less that I did when I got pregnant with Landon
8. I can start working out again in 2 weeks
9. It's turning into fall which is my favorite season
10.So far we've had very few spiders in the house (I hope I didn't just ginx my self)

Now I don't feel like such a cry baby. Speaking of cry babies... I have one that is screaming for a bottle.